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Hang on Sloopy…
…Sloopy, Hang On!
Damned if – somehow, someway – GOP Young Turk, David “Sloopy” Schwartz, doesn’t manage to do exactly that.
Now, to be blunt, Schwartz doesn’t always manage to hang on to the same position, or role with the same politico or organization – far from it. What he does find a way to do, however – and in the face of notable losses and harsh detractors, no less – is consistently hang on to some level of prominence as a young GOP mover, shaker, and rabble rouser. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if this is due to Mr. Schwartz being a brilliant political mind and savvy strategist….or whether it’s because a certain faction within the MD GOP has a limited number of choices and is simply content to have at its beck and call a controllable, breathing, body that is not tainted by scandal.
Let’s take a look, shall we, at Young Turk David Schwartz, and the magic he’s spreading.
I met David Schwartz during former Governor Ehrlich’s first run for Governor in 2002. A likable enough guy, very enthusiastic, and well under the wing of one of Bob Ehrlich’s more watchful and strident Campaign Capos, Schwartz quickly picked up the nickname “Sign Boy” because his job was to both deliver Ehrlich campaign yard signs as well as personally plant the larger Ehrlich campaign signs at requested locations.
At this boring, loathsome, yet necessary job, Schwartz excelled: He was tireless, dedicated, and had precisely the mind for which such work was suited: Proof of this was later made clear when he told a few of us that he voted for Ralph Nader for President in 2004 because he (Schwartz) was a capitalist. I still haven’t figured that one out…
After Ehrlich’s successful 2002 run for the Mansion, Schwartz hung around the campaign office and performed various tasks. It was during this period that he began learning the fine art of political promises, “extortion and bribery,” otherwise known as campaign fundraising. To his credit, as was proven later, Sloopy grew to be quite adept at this aspect of campaigning, something even at least one of his detractors is loathe to admit.
Alas, learned fundraising expertise aside, come 2006, Schwartz was back to being Sign Boy in Chief for the doomed Ehrlich re-elect effort. However, I’d have to think the stress and tension from the rigors of the campaign trail must have really gotten to Sloopy – and he was looking for novel forms of stress relief. Why do I say this…?
Well, hmmm…during the 2006 Ehrlich campaign, Schwartz roomed with Carpet Bagging Campaign Manager, displaced Southern Boy, Bo Harmon – he who was in/famous for taking out former US Senator from Georgia, Max Cleland. In 2006, however, politicians were not the only thing Harmon and his new roomie, Schwartz, were intent on “taking out.” This was evidenced by the notorious, Playboy Mansion Grotto-style skinny-dipping parties featuring young campaign aides Harmon and Schwartz were known to host.
Ahem. While I’m not sure of everything that went on at these ”skinny dippers,” I bet it’s safe to say they weren’t discussing bussing in homeless people from Philadelphia to work the polls on election day. I just KNEW I was blown out of Ehrlich World too soon…
(With the closure of Ehrlich’s La Salle Road campaign office, I am sure Schwartz’s private parking sign has since been removed…)
Of course, bussed in homeless, skinny dipping parties, and expert yard sign placement notwithstanding, Bob Ehrlich lost his re-election effort to Governor O’Malley by well over 100,000 votes. So, what did the now hanging by a thread Sloopy do at that point….?
With the assistance of his former Ehrlich masters. Schwartz got the post of Executive Director of the Catonsville Chamber of Commerce. Once again, Sloopy had hung on! But not for long…
Mere months later, by a unanimous vote of the Chamber’s Board, Schwartz was summarily fired. Devastating? Not for Sloopy, who again managed to Hang On to a position of Young Turk prominence.
After his firing from the Catonsville COC, Schwartz hooked on with the Ehrlich-backed Andy Harris for Congress campaign in MD’s 1st Congressional District.. (Hmmm…wonder if Ehrlich had anything to do with that?) Anyway, it was on this effort that Schwartz’s undeniable skills at fundraising flowered and bloomed.
After Harris out-filthed everyone to defeat Congressman Wayne Gilchrest in the GOP primary, Schwartz continued his fundraising for Harris into the general election against Democrat, and, now-Congressman, Frank Kratovil. It was also during the general election that Schwartz allegedly returned to his “Sign Boy” days, albeit in a different manner. Anyone remember those “Endorsed by O’Malley” stickers that were placed on Kratovil campaign signs…?
Sadly for the MD GOP – despite Schwartz’s presence on the campaign team – Ehrlich’s horse in the race, Andy Harris, lost to Kratovil. How could this have happened? Even more importantly…how was Sloopy now going to Hang On to Young Turk prominence?!
Good question, especially when considering the following comment from a former elected official who has dealt with Dave Schwartz on numerous occasions: “I don’t know how he does it. He’s rude. He never wins anything…yet always keeps popping up into something new. Now it’s Americans for Prosperity…”
Yes, now it’s Americans for Prosperity (AFP). Despite not being AFP National’s first choice to be its Maryland chapter director (first choice being Corey Stottlemyre), this decidedly non-Ralph Naderesque group has tapped Schwartz for that post. Once again, despite steep odds, Sloopy has hung on!
Of course, it will be interesting to see how long the AFP-Sloopy marriage does last. At the Official Kickoff of AFP’s Maryland Chapter a little over a month ago (at which AFP’s national director Tim Phillips showed up to speak) a grand total of 30-35 people were on hand. Sources tell me they were looking for at least double that amount. Additionally, two well known movers and shakers in MD conservative circles advised me they had no knowledge of AFP’s MD chapter “kickoff” until well after it occurred.
What the Hell, though? If history is any guide, regardless of what may eventually happen concerning Sloopy’s tenure with AFP…it seems he will still manage to “Hang On.” As befitting a Young Turk, he always does. And there is something to be said for that.
Hang On, Sloopy. Indeed.
