A Christmas Wish List

And so this is Christmas? And what have you done?

Come on, you know how the rest of how John Lennon’s song goes…

Another year over, and a new one just begun! And, so Happy Christmas…!

I don’t know about you, but I’ve done a lot this year – and have had one hell of a lot happen – if not be done – to me. 2011 has been a pretty cantankerous year for me, but what the Hell? It’s left me feeling far more Santa than Grinch – and in quite a giving mood.

So, in the spirit of Christmas and fueled by a fair amount of spiked egg nog, here is my Christmas wish list for certain politicos and one former politico.

Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley: For Governor O’Malley, I wish him to have a non-tax cheat to serve on various boards and commissions. You know, sort of an anti-Richard Stewart, owner of Montgomery Mechanical Services, who’s going to jail as a result of cheating Uncle Sam out of nearly $4,000,000.00 in back taxes. A longtime O’Malley ally, Stewart copped a plea with the Feds after having helped Governor O’Malley jerry-rig…I mean, draw up Maryland’s…”controversial”…redistricting maps.

Former Maryland Governor and Author Bob Ehrlich: For Former Everything Bobby Ehrlich, my Christmas wish is that he get a life. With his book pretty much an abject failure, he needs to do something. I also wish he would get a “filter” so that he would know what’s cool and not cool to say…like knowing when it’s appropriate to call someone a French whore (never) or to diss a recently deceased and much loved radio talk show host while live on the very station on which said host had joyously plied his trade for so many years.

And, now we move to the national stage…

Presidential Candidate, Texas Governor Rick Perry: For Governor Perry, I wish a Christmas onslaught of laryngitis. Need I say more? Really?

Presidential Candidate Mittens Romney: My Christmas wish for Mittens would be that he have a hair out of place. Just one. And a spine would be nice, as well.

Fannie Mae Lobbyist (and Presidential Candidate) Newt Gingrich: May Santa bring Newt a manageable ego. And a 4th wife, which you just know is coming anyway, so what the Hell?

Future 3rd Party Presidential Candidate Ron Paul: Here’s hoping that Santa delivers eyebrows to Mr. Paul. And I’m talking real ones, not ones that slip and start to fall off under hot lights.

My wish for GOP candidates Michelle Bachmann, John Huntsman and Rick Santorum? That next year they’ll have be worthy of their own, separate Christmas wishes…

(Either the Grinch is sipping egg not, or he’s been touched by the Spirit of the Season.  Or both.)

If I may, I’d like to get a little bit personal for a moment.  While I consider myself to be rather spiritual, I’m definitely not very religious.  However, Christmas is a Christian - and a spiritual – celebration, which is why I have no problem telling every Christian I see “Merry Christmas.” Nor, do I mind hearing it when I’m told “Merry Christmas.” In fact, I quite enjoy hearing it – especially when it’s heartfelt.

That being said, however, I will wish folks everything from Merry Christmas to Happy Hanukah to Happy Solstice.  Hell, I’ll even throw in a few Happy Festivus’s now and them.  It’s just the way I am and just the way it goes.

And with that in mind, dear reader, my wish for you is that each and every one of you experience the best of everything this Holiday season. May Santa bring you your heart’s desire, and may the spirit of Christmas Magic ensure that the highest yearnings of your spirit be reached. 

Merry Christmas, y’all.

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Joe Steffen

Joe Steffen

Joe Steffen, aka "The Prince of Darkness," the nickname coming courtesy of former Maryland Governor Bob Ehrlich. One time partisan attack dog, taker of swords and bullets, and one who would toss himself on the grenade without so much as blinking. Times have changed, and so have I. If you really want the lowdown, slanted though some of it may be, do a google search on "Joseph Steffen Prince of Darkness." Surprise! Regardless, no matter what you may now think...I'm not an "unrepentant terrorist" as is Bill Ayres. Or a "plagerizing soon to be again ex-journalist" - as is Michael Olesker. Or even a Plagerizing Vice President as is Joe Biden. I'm just me, the erstwhile Prince of Darkness, one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet ;)

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